For Immediate Release: Mystery Nun Seen Wandering Hollywood Mean Streets

Shocking Ejection from Convent Launches Radical Nun into Sacred Mission as Controversial New Hollywood Sex Guru

by Randy Dickerson
Roving Reporter

Los Angeles, CA – March 18, 2007

In recent days, passersby on the seamy end of Hollywood Boulevard have observed an extraordinary sight. They are shocked to see a nun dressed in full traditional black-and-white habit complete with wimple and black veil wandering around, appearing dazed and out of place. And to this very day she can be seen on those infamous streets – you may find her on Sunset, and/or Vine, and of course Santa Monica Boulevard. And that is where this reporter found her this morning.

When this dignified nun meets your gaze, she’ll nod and smile at you in a sweet friendly way -- one might say, almost a saintly way. If you nod back, she quickly introduces herself: “My name is Sister Mary Erotica,” she will tell you with no trace of shyness or embarrassment. Then, in the next breath: “I’d love to tell you about my Mission – may I?”

As you struggle to make sense of her extraordinary name, she starts to explain why she is out here conducting her Mission among the everyday people in the streets. Hers is a Mission that she considers sacred, a Message which she plans to take to other cities, large and small – in fact, plans to broadcast around the world – soon as she manages to raise the necessary funds, she confides to this reporter.

It may seem unbelievable, but until just recently she had lived (for many years) in a strictly secluded convent hidden in the Malibu Hills. She asked this reporter to make sure the place remain nameless: strictly a secret.

“God forbid I carelessly -- irresponsibly! -- unleash curiosity-hounds and paparazzi upon those hallowed grounds!” she whispers. “If I did that, The Superiors would certainly have to kill me!”


[… to be continued…]
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